Tuesday, November 13, 2007

It's fun to make fun of the Kansas coach, but they are 10-0 for the first time since Kansas started hanging up peach baskets and throwing leather balls through them. Yes, leather balls through peach baskets, Mr. Naismith. There is a certain sportswriter, Dennis Dodd for CBS Sportsline, that says "Right now, Kansas is the clear No. 1." He touts proudly the fact that there are 3 Big 12 teams in the BCS top 6. What a jerk. Do you even watch television on Saturdays? Can you open your eyes? But back to coaches eating players. That is funny.

Friday, November 09, 2007

The number 121 has three factors: 1, 121, and 11. Tony Hawk was on that crazy show about being fifth graders at answering questions. Questions that you haven't even thought of since the fifth grade. For example ... How many factors does the number 121 have? Or, directly from the mouth of an eight-year-old ... What continent is Estonia on? Who knew that the man that contributed "You might be a redneck" jokes to the world would one day host a show about being smarter than fifth graders. I love how he reasons with the adults in between questions. I love how they glance over at the fifth graders.

Speaking of fifth graders, do you know Stephen Compston? Well, he lives in Colorado. If you talked him during the world series you might have heard that he considered, perhaps, maybe, stopping his crazed love for the Boston Red Sox. Old Mr. Fenway would roll over in his grave. You may know them as the BoSox (as opposed to ChiSox), or just plain, the Sox. Depending on your age, you may know them as the The Old Towne Team or the pre-1908 "Boston Americans." Or, from the mouth of babes, the 2007 World Champions. To think that the "Curse of the Bambino" was lifted because of the pining of a young fan in Arkansas is now a joke to me. I publicly challenge Stephen's so-called "commitment," for I've a bone to pick.

Speaking of bones, I had some toothbones cut out of head a couple weeks back. Thanks for all of you (more like none of you) that brought me soup and ice cream. I ended up having a weekend, or Saturday-to-Monday, as British people said in films in the 40's, full of college football, David Fincher films, and CPA studying. I am slowing, but surely, healing thanks to my lovely, caring wife, a nucleus of caring, Bible-believing Christians, and a syringe (a simple hand-powered piston pump consisting of a plunger that can be pulled and pushed along inside a cylindrical tube, known as the barrel, which has a small hole at the end , so it can suck liquid in and then squirt it out by the same hole) for cleaing food out of the holes that remain in my head.

Speaking of hand-powered pistons, God told me in a dream that the 2007-2008 Detroit Pistons would win the NBA Finals, the whole sh-bang, shoot the moon, if you will. Now, this divine knowledge was planted in my toothbone-hole of a head for a reason. To win lots of money gambling on this knowledge. But now that I've told you, or, rather, I've typed it on a screen and you've read it on a screen (funny how that works), the odds of gambling my way into retirement are diminished. What a might God we serve. I type that on this screen in a sincere manner.

Speaking of manners, I wouldn't have any unless I left you with a list of movies that I've seen in the last month that I do highly recommend (listed in chronological order, because it is logical to list them this way, in chronological order that is, in case you were confused about which way I was propositioning to be logical - oh, thank goodness that is cleared up):

Kind Hearts and Coronets, dir. Hamer (1949)
Strangers on a Train, dir. Hitchcock(1951)
The Night of the Hunter, dir. Laughton (1955)
Zodiac, dir. Fincher (2007)
The Darjeeling Limited, dir. Anderson (2007)
Michael Clayton, dir. Gilroy (2007)

Thanks for reading. Well, you wouldn't be reading unless I was typing, and I wouldn't be typing unless I knew you were reading, and I wouldn't know you were really reading unless we talked about it later. And we wouldn't talk about it later unless we talked later. And there wouldn't be a later unless I stopped typing. But seriously, thank you for reading. I wish this whole thing made me, in some way, feel like I was better friends with you, but these keys are cold, and they don't talk. And you don't talk either.

"It is so difficult to make a neat job of killing people with whom one is not on friendly terms." - the actor Dennis Price, as Louis Mazzini, in Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949), voted the best British comedy in the history of the world by some crazy consumers of BBC media, a world news organization, of which representatives spent this current week in Springdale, AR doing a piece on Mexicans in the area. That's what they call news bits on BBC, "pieces." I think.